The lost art of table manners
Whether it’s a relaxed sit-down meal for family, or a formal wedding reception dinner, the basics of table manners should be the same. Not sticking to the rules of table etiquette is considered to be disrespectful to everyone at the table…
While we’re not as uptight about these rules as we used to be a few decades ago, it doesn’t hurt to know which fork, spoon or knife to use, and when to use it! Here’s a refresher on what you need to know about the (almost) lost art of table manners. For the first course of the meal, you’ll start using utensils from the outside…
Forks and other flatware: From the outside, you’ll then work your way inward, toward the plate with each course. Once you’ve picked up a knife or fork and have started eating with it, it’s considered rude to put it back on the table, rather lay your knife across the back of the plate. Your fork goes on the other side.
The basics of table manners
Passing dishes around the table: In a family setting, it’s ok to pass from person to person, as long as the dish is passed to the right. In a formal setting, pass to the right, but place the dish down in front of the person next to you. It’s rude to expect them to hold the dish and serve themselves at the same time.
Finger food: If you’re unsure whether a dish is finger food or should be eaten using utensils, take your cue from the host. When in doubt, use utensils – eating with your fingers is considered rude, unless everyone else at the table is doing it as well!
Napkin etiquette: Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down to an informal meal. At a formal meal, wait until the host has placed his napkin in his lap before doing the same. This is where you’ll leave your napkin until you intend to excuse yourself from the table.
If you’re only stepping away from the table, place your napkin on your chair or to the left of your food, folded. If your napkin is unfolded next to your food, it’s an indication that you’re finished eating.
The rules of table etiquette
Talking: Chew, swallow and finish what’s in your mouth before you talk and don’t chew with your mouth open or audibly!
End of the meal: For an informal meal, merely placing your knife and fork together in the centre of your plate is enough to indicate that you’re finished with your food. For a formal meal, your knife and fork must be placed together in the four o’clock position.
Serving and clearing: Serve to the left and clear from the right. One exception to this rule is beverages, as wine and water are poured from the right. And definitely don’t clear plates until everyone’s finished eating!
Elbows: Keep your elbows off of the table. They should be tucked in close to your body when eating, so as not to create an obstruction for those on either side of you. It’s ok to rest your forearms on the table, but elbows are definitely a no-no, unless you’re between courses and it’s the only way you can lean forward to hear conversation at a crowded, noisy table.
Common-sense manners: Do one thing at a time at the table. If you want to sip your drink, rest your fork or knife on the plate until you’re done. If you can’t get something on the table within easy reach of your arm when you’re leaning only slightly forward, ask someone nearby to pass it to you.
If a piece of food keeps running from your fork, it’s not okay to use your fingers to help it find its way. Instead, use a piece of bread or your knife to do the job. When eating, if one hand is free, rest it on your lap to avoid obstructing others at the table. When you’re finished eating, both hands should be rested on your lap.
Don’t use your phone (whether it’s to make calls or send text messages), or other electronic devices at the table. These should be switched off, or placed on silent. Yes, this means you won’t be able to Instagram your food. (That is, unless everyone else is doing it too!)
